Friday Five & Music

01. Homemade curry for dinner. Delish.
02. Cleaning, cleaning and cleaning. The flat is looking sparkly.
03. New seeds planted, hopefully they grow and it warms up so I can move my little greenhouse operation outside.
04. Invitation mock up looking great. I am excited that we decided to do these ourselves.
05. Great workout this A.M., despite the gym opening late for Good Friday. I can run for 13 minutes now!!


Music this week: The Avett Brothers (Emotionalism); Mumford & Sons; The Cinematic Orchestra (To Make a Home)

Freitag

1. Lots of gymming. Lovely. And productive! I'm finding muscles I never knew existed!
2. Wedding meeting today, which made me feel pretty good about things, despite my feeling of utter procrastination and apathy about doing anything. (I'm excited for the wedding, just lazy!)
3. Plants, flowers and sun! My seedlings of foxglove, calendula and sweet pea are growing like crazy!
4. Frogs! in the garden! (I haven't seen a frog in the 'wild' since I moved to England 4.5 years ago)
5. 3 hour nap this afternoon. It was delicious, even though I did miss pilates because of it.

Friday Five & Music

1. Three day weekend with grand plans for relaxing, visiting and home improvement.
2. Wedding dress has been purchased. At the 2009 price. Go me for haggling that one!
3. Insomnia causes me to have all sorts of cool ideas. And I wrote some of them down this time!
4. A really lovely stranger paid my taxi fare this morning. I was so grateful for that little reprieve.
5. Free cinema trip on Wednesday with work, to see Amelia. It was much better than I expected, but oh-so-sad. Even though I already knew the ending.

Music of the week: The Middle East, Xavier Rudd, Newton Faulkner, Indigo Girls, They Might Be Giants

Friday, again.

One of my goals in life is to update this more regularly. One substantial post per week and my regular Friday gig. I'm obviously still working on it.

This week, I feel pulled in a few different directions, both emotionally and viscerally. It is difficult to explain. I feel the need to craft and hibernate with comforting smells and candles. Lots of blankets. At the same time, the snow is going. Will it be back? Probably. I hope.

I am also terribly excited because a lot of things are coming together wedding-wise and it just thrills me that this is going to happen. We are actually going to declare our love and committment to one another, in front of other people. Make it 'real'. As if it isn't real already.

Anyway, this week's five.

1. Love my oldies. At work. They are so funny.
2. Wedding things, hooray! & etsy purchases!
3. Successfully making scary phone calls to strangers. I have a love/hate relationship with the phone.
4. Knitting. I have been procrastinating some projects because I do not want to fail. But how will I be successful if I avoid something?
5. Slowly tackling my list. I should post my lists sometime. It would be amazing.

Welcome, 2010!

Already four days into the newest year. Another decade. Where did 2009 go? It seems like a blur.

I feel like I am echoing other blogs I have read in the last few days, but really 2009 was a roller coaster. I shall be getting off now, please and thank you.

I hope that 2010 is a healthy, peaceful and happy year for me and C (and our families and friends!).

Goals for the year:

01. Get organised (clothes and crafts!)
02. Sort out space for crafting
03. Go to the library more.
04. Host a superfun wedding.
05. Fall in love again.
06. Find some good girl-friends.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Did you know that today, 13 November 2009, is the third Friday the 13th this year? And that three is the maximum number of times Friday the 13th can occur in any given year?

If not, now you do! And if you did, well done, have a hug or a biscuit.

Now for the Friday Five!

1. I have a three day weekend.
2. It has been raining for two days. And I love it.
3. I am planning some really cool things for our wedding and I am so excited about them. And so excited to be marrying C.
4. C and I are so incredibly happy together that it is disgusting sometimes. I wonder how I even got this lucky? I sometimes feel like I am cheating life, because there is no way I deserve this.
5. Maryland in 10! (TEN!!!!) 10 days. So very excited.

"All endings are also beginnings..." -Mitch Albom

When I lost my job at the end of June, I was devastated not so much about the job itself, but about the possibilities that it had closed for me. I felt very lost for a few days or a week and it felt strange to wake up in the morning and get dressed, only to stay at home.

After that first week of shock, I began to get into a routine of job searching, CV (or resume) updating/editing, going into town to pass my CV to anyone who was considering taking new employees and baking furiously.

I had a new beginning after the loss of my job when I really appreciated the time I spent at home (and job searching). When I started my current job, another transition occurred.

Switching jobs is only one type of ending and beginning. There are obviously other endings and beginnings that happen throughout life.

The big ending and beginning that is fast approaching for both C and I is our wedding next year. Yes, it is only one day. Yes, it should be an important day. It is not going to be "THE" most important day in our lives.

This is my issue with the wedding, and mine alone. It really comes to the heart of the question, what's in a name?

It is important to me because I will end my years as Danielle Lastname and begin my years as Danielle Hislastname. I am simultaneously looking forward to this ending and dreading it. The new beginning as C's wife and the beginning of our family together is exciting. I am glad to be choosing him. I am glad he chose me.

But changing my name seems so scary! My childhood nickname which was based on LastName will no longer apply. I am afraid to lose my father's last name, one that my brother and I share. Changing my name frightens me because somehow I feel I won't be as close to my father or brother, if I do not share their last name. I realise this is irrational and ludicrous, but it is one of my fears about all the changes that will occur when I marry C.

I am glad to have this new beginning with C. I choose him as my new 'first' family and I am (for the most part) happy to take his name. I will be sad to 'lose' my childhood name, but that name will always be mine and a part of me. I am not just Danielle Lastname. My identity transcends my name. The last name I share with my father and brother will always be mine and a part of me.

When I take C's last name, it will be for 'our family'. For us. For the children we may bring into the world one day. I choose C and I choose his last name. An ending for me. A beginning for us.