Happy Friday the 13th!

Did you know that today, 13 November 2009, is the third Friday the 13th this year? And that three is the maximum number of times Friday the 13th can occur in any given year?

If not, now you do! And if you did, well done, have a hug or a biscuit.

Now for the Friday Five!

1. I have a three day weekend.
2. It has been raining for two days. And I love it.
3. I am planning some really cool things for our wedding and I am so excited about them. And so excited to be marrying C.
4. C and I are so incredibly happy together that it is disgusting sometimes. I wonder how I even got this lucky? I sometimes feel like I am cheating life, because there is no way I deserve this.
5. Maryland in 10! (TEN!!!!) 10 days. So very excited.

Day 12: Where did you get your name?

Following on from my post last Saturday, about changing my name, I wanted to talk about my forenames. How I got them, what they would have been had I been a boy and why my parents chose those names.

My first name, as you all know, is Danielle. Yes, it is my actual name. No pseudonyms here.

According to the story my dad tells, he always knew I was a girl. As a child, my dad's best friend was a boy named Daniel and my dad always enjoyed Daniel's company and thinks highly of him. He chose my name based on his respect and love for Daniel. My first name means 'Judged by God'.

My middle name is even more straightforward. My mother gave me her middle name, Marie. So simple, such a popular middle name. No story or heartwarming detail.

I have always liked my name. There were those times that people mispronounced my first name (Danny-yell instead of Dan-yell) and I wished I had a name easier to pronounce, like Jennifer or Anna. But on the whole, I embraced my name. I like that there are other Danielles in the world, my name is not too original, nor is it commonplace.

Had I been a boy, my name would have been Samuel Tyler. First name after my late paternal grandfather. Not sure about the why on Tyler.

As I said last week, I have enjoyed my years as Danielle Marie Lastname. I like my name.

How did you get your name? How did you decide to name your pets? Your children? Are you, your siblings, your spouse or your children named after anyone?

Do you think romantic chemistry is instant or evolving?

Have you ever given someone a second (or third) chance and lived to regret it? Have you ever fallen in love with someone you didn't particularly like or desire at first?

I think romantic chemistry can be both instant and evolving. Some people meet their significant other and have an instant connection that never waivers. Others take their time, either for personal or social reasons, to get to know and love someone.

I have never been the girl who immediately falls head over heels in love. I have never been in love at first sight with any of my ex-boyfriends. I did not fall in love with C at first sight (it probably helps that I was in a relationship with someone else when I first met C. The other relationship had concluded long before we got together.)

Giving second (and third) chances is also not really something I have done. I tend to make important decisions like that and stick with them. I don't think it is (or would be) fair for me to date someone I did not like (even platonically) more than once. If I think it's going somewhere, I say. If I don't, I try to be gently honest.

Around the time I graduated high school, there was a guy that I hadn't really taken any notice of. At our first meeting, I was not at all impressed with him. In fact, I recall that I thought he was a waste of time and a bit conceited. One of my friends was quite into him, but he was not into her. He convinced me to go on a few dates with him and I realised that we had similar goals and aspirations. I enjoyed spending time with him and I did fall in love with him. Unfortunately, falling in love with him cost me a friend. And he did end up breaking my heart.

But without him, I never would have met, befriended and fallen in love with C. We have been together 4 and 1/2 years and I hope that we are able to build a great, happy life together.

Day 10: A Recipe

Today was a long day. I have a cold. I am so happy and lucky to have the job I do, because I work with a bunch of nurses. And they take good care of everyone.

Even so, I had to come home and eat dinner. I didn't want C to eat cereal or toast, even though I know he can and would eat either happily (he can also cook, but he has been doing a lot lately).

Something quick and healthy was important. I decided to make a staple dish in our house, 'Mexican Beans and Rice'.

Mexican Beans and Rice

1 cup cooked brown rice
1 16 oz tin black beans, drained and rinsed
1 16 oz tin corn, drained and rinsed
1 cup spring (or green) onions, finely chopped
Cumin*
Paprika*
Cayenne pepper*
Cilantro (or Coriander)*

*spices to taste

Mix all ingredients together and heat through. Serve as tacos or burritos, or as a nacho topping. Also delicious with shredded grilled chicken. Garnish with salsa, cheese or other favourites!

Enjoy.


(picture is from www.mccormick.com as I could not find a good picture of this recipe on my laptop.)

20 things

The following are a list of things I would like to accomplish in my life. Brought to you by the fact that I am sick.


1.Be published. (Again.)
2.Have a happy, successful and committed marriage.
3.Travel to New Zealand.
4.Run a half-marathon.
5.Travel around Europe in an RV.
6.Follow the Tour de France.
7.Learn another language (Italian, German or Welsh).
8.Read 52 books in one year.
9.Go camping in the Peaks or Scottish Highlands.
10.Have and raise children.
11.Knit a big project (i.e. shawl or sweater)for myself.
12.See the fjords in Scandinavia.
13.Visit British Columbia.
14.Have a large garden.
15.Get a DSLR and learn/teach myself to take good photographs
16.Grow my hair really long, just because.
17.Have a library in my house.
18.Attend Michigan Womyn's Music Festival
19.Drive across North America.
20.Build a greenhouse.

Sunday Poem

This Is Just To Say
by William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold


The above is my favourite poem. I love its simplicity. The image of a cold refrigerator, cold, crisp, ripe plums. I imagine that this poem was a note on the kitchen table, an apology for taking his wife's delicious breakfast, which he enjoyed. It conveys imagery, a sincere apology and an appreciation for the fruit.

"All endings are also beginnings..." -Mitch Albom

When I lost my job at the end of June, I was devastated not so much about the job itself, but about the possibilities that it had closed for me. I felt very lost for a few days or a week and it felt strange to wake up in the morning and get dressed, only to stay at home.

After that first week of shock, I began to get into a routine of job searching, CV (or resume) updating/editing, going into town to pass my CV to anyone who was considering taking new employees and baking furiously.

I had a new beginning after the loss of my job when I really appreciated the time I spent at home (and job searching). When I started my current job, another transition occurred.

Switching jobs is only one type of ending and beginning. There are obviously other endings and beginnings that happen throughout life.

The big ending and beginning that is fast approaching for both C and I is our wedding next year. Yes, it is only one day. Yes, it should be an important day. It is not going to be "THE" most important day in our lives.

This is my issue with the wedding, and mine alone. It really comes to the heart of the question, what's in a name?

It is important to me because I will end my years as Danielle Lastname and begin my years as Danielle Hislastname. I am simultaneously looking forward to this ending and dreading it. The new beginning as C's wife and the beginning of our family together is exciting. I am glad to be choosing him. I am glad he chose me.

But changing my name seems so scary! My childhood nickname which was based on LastName will no longer apply. I am afraid to lose my father's last name, one that my brother and I share. Changing my name frightens me because somehow I feel I won't be as close to my father or brother, if I do not share their last name. I realise this is irrational and ludicrous, but it is one of my fears about all the changes that will occur when I marry C.

I am glad to have this new beginning with C. I choose him as my new 'first' family and I am (for the most part) happy to take his name. I will be sad to 'lose' my childhood name, but that name will always be mine and a part of me. I am not just Danielle Lastname. My identity transcends my name. The last name I share with my father and brother will always be mine and a part of me.

When I take C's last name, it will be for 'our family'. For us. For the children we may bring into the world one day. I choose C and I choose his last name. An ending for me. A beginning for us.